Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.
Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.
Banta: Oye, tu to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua?
Santa: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thodi tabiyat kharab hai.
Banta: Yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai?
Santa: Oye tujhe yeh bhi nahin pata, Jab auto mein koi ganji ladki ja rahi ho to use kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI
Santa: Agar tumhe kuch ho gaya to mein Pagal ho jaaunga.
Jeeto: Doosri shaadi to nahin karogey?
Santa: Pagal ka kya hai, kuch bhi kar sakta hai
Napoleon: There is no such word as ‘Impossible’ in my dictionary.
Santa: To dictionary dekh kar kharidni thi …!
Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu’s skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was Tipu’s skeleton when he was child
Sadhu: Bachcha teri biwi ko chuddail chipak gayee hai. Upaaye karvaao.
Banta: Upayaye? Baba, agar do behenein gale mil rahi hain to is mein harz hi kya hai ?
Banta: Yaar teri wife ki maut ka bara afsos hua, vaise hua kya tha?
Sant: Goli lagi thi mathe main.
Banta: Waheguru ji ka shukar kar ke aankh bach gayi.
Captain of Military: Naujawanon aage bado
Santa aage nahin bada
Captain: Tum aage kyun nahin bade?
Santa: Apne kaha 9 jawanon aage bado, mein 10ve number pe tha
Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got
irritated… drank poison & said,
Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge!
Museum Administrator: That’s a 500-year-old statue u’ve broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.
Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?
Santa: Suicide karne ke liye
Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai?
Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye
Santa: Raat film main ek chudail kabhi mere aage, khabhi mere peechhe ghoom rahi thi…
Jeeto: Koun si film thi ?
Santa: Apni shaadi ki movie thi !
Santa: Doc saab, mein Chashma laga ke pad to sakoonga?
Doc: Haan, bilkul.
Santa: To phir theek hai doc saab varna Anpad aadmi ki zindagi bhi koi zindagi hai.
Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto, Banta asks: Y r u removing a
wheel from ur auto?
Santa: Can’t u read ‘Parking for two wheelers only
Cute Hindi SMS Jokes
Pyar Ki Gadi me kabhi petrol nahi hota,
pyar k safarme kabhi panchar nahi hota.
Pyar jivan ki aisi gadi hai jisme
2 se jayada passenger nahi hota
`
Namaskar!
Apki Dosti ki Battery Low Ho Rahi Hai,
Kripya Aap 3 SMS KARKE TURANT RECHARGE KARE!
FROM:
DSNL
(Dosti Sanchar Nigam Ltd.)
`
Arz kiya hai,
Tu gaya uski gali main,
Tu gaya uski gali main,
Bola dil se dil laga Lo,
Jab dekha uski mummy ko to bola,
“Jute chappal” thik karva Lo.
`
AJ kal ladkiyo ke kapde
yaha se less waha se less,
kabhi sleevless to kabhi backless
or koi ladka ghur k dekhe to-
“Oh How Mannerless” !!
Hindi Jokes SMS
Pappu ek party mein gaya aur waha usne 8 butter naan kha liye.
Kuch der baad toilet mein pet pakad ke ro raha tha bhagwan se request kar raha tha ki, Hey bhagwan ya toh jaan nikal de ya naan nikal de!”
`
Ek larka apni girlfriend se milne gaya, kuch baat ke baad uski
girlfirend chaye(tea) banane ke liye kitchen chali gayi.
Girlfriend ka mobile sofay pe dekh kar larky ne socha ke
chalo dekhte hai mera number iss ne kis naam se save kya hai?
Dear, sweetu ya jaanu.
Jab usne misscall di toh screen pe likh raha tha “Murgha No.5? Calling”.
Funny Hindi SMS
Posted by Rahul under Funny Hindi SMS ,
`
1 khwab ,1 pyar ,1 haqiqat ho tum .
Dosti me padnewali har zaroorat ho tum.
Jisko roj itne SMS karnepade,woh musibat ho tum.
`
Ab Aur Manzil Pane Ki Hasrat Nahi
Kisi Ki Yaad Me Mar Jane Ki Fitrat Nahi
Aap Jese Dost Jabse Mile
Kisi Aur Ko Dost Banane Ki Jarurat Nahi
`
Kuch dost palbhar me bhula diye jate hai
kuch dost pal-pal yad aate hai
hum apse yahi puchna chahte hai
k dosto ki is kataar me hum kaha aate hai
`
KHUSHI se dil ko aabad karna
GAM ko dil se aazad karna
Bas itni gujaarish hai aapse ki
ho sake to din mein ek baar yaad jaroor karna
`
Zindagi zakhmo se bhari hai,
waqt ko marham banana seekh lo.
Harna toh hai hi maut ke hatho ek din,
Filhaal zindagi ko jeena seekh lo
`
Har yado me usi ki yad rehti hai.
Meri ankho ko usi ki talash rhti hai.
kuch tum b dua kro yaro.
Suna hai dosto ki dua me farishto ki fariyad hoti hai…
`
Khusiyo ka ek sansaar leke ayenge,
Patjhar mein bhi bhar leke ayenge,
Jab bhi pukarenge aap pyaar se,
Zindgi se saansen udhar leke ayenge…
`
Thoda socha hai humne …
thoda jaana hai humne…
Mushkil se magar pehchana hai humne…
Koi aap jaisa na tha na hoga…
isliye dost aapko mana hai humne
`
Lamhe ye Suhane saath ho na ho,
Kal me aaj jaisi koi baat ho na ho,
Aapki dosti hamesha is DIL me rahegi,
Chahe kabhi mulakat ho na ho.
`
Itni dosti naa karo ki bigad jaye hum.
thoda danta bhi karo ki sudhar jaye hum.
ho jaye gar humse koi khata to ho jana khafa,
magar itna bhi nahi k mar hi jaye hum.
`
ZAMANE KI HAR JANNAT TUMHARI HOGI
YE AASMAAN YE ZAMI TUMHARI HOGI
MUJHSE KEH BHI NA PAOGE USKE PEHLE
MERE HISSE KI HAR KHUSHI TUMHARI HOGI
`
bikhri ankhon se moti hum piro na sake teri yaad me sari raat so na sake
beh na jaye ansuon me tasvir ye soch kar
hum ro na sake
`
Gum ki aahat bhi na aaye tere dar par,
pyar ka samunder ka tu bhi ek kinara ho,
kabhi bhool se jo tapke teri aankh se moti,
thame wohi jo tujhe sab se pyara ho !!!
`
Kisi mor pe ham ap ko khoney nahi denge..
Juda hona chaho to honey nahi denge…
Chandni raton man aye gi meri yad…
Meri yad ke wo pal ap ko soney nahi denge
`
Bhulana tumhe na asaan hoga jo bhule tumhe wo nadan hoga aap to baste ho ruh me hamari, bus aap hame na bhulana ye aapka ehsaan hoga.
`
aaj door se hi koi salaam kar gaya,
apni yadon ka gulaam kar gaya ,
apni zingagi girvi rakhi thi jiske paas,
aaj wohi hume nilaam kar gaye……..
`
Khuda ke Ghar se Kuch Gadhe farar hogaye
kuch to pakde gaye
kuch hamare yaar hogaye…
What is real love?
what is real love?
so i tell you a sweet story…..
ek sparrow ko ek white gulaab se pyar ho gaya,
usne gulaab ko propose kiya,
Gulaab ne javab diya ki jis din main laal ho jaunga us din main tumse pyarkarunga,
javab sun ke sparrow gulaab ke aas- pass kanto pe lotne lagi,
or uske khoon se gulaab laal ho gaya,
ye dekh gulaab ne bhi usse kaha ki vo bhi usse pyaar karta hai,
par tab tak sparrow mar chuki thi ,
that’s true love story..
Happy Valentines Day
Chintu SMS
Pareshaan thi Chintu ki wife
Non-happening thi jo uski life
Chintu ko na milta tha aaram
Office main karta kaam hi kaam
`
Chintu ke boss bhi the bade cool
Promotion ko har baar jate the bhul
Par bhulte nahi the wo deadline
Kaam to karwate the roz till nine
`
Chintu bhi banna chata tha best
Isliye to wo nahi karta tha rest
Din raat karta wo boss ki gulami
Onsite ke ummid main deta salami
`
Din guzre aur guzre fir saal
Bura hota gaya Chintu ka haal
Chintu ko ab kuch yaad na rehta tha
Galti se Biwi ko Behenji kehta tha
`
Aakhir ek din Chintu ko samjh aaya
Aur chod di usne Onsite ki moh maya
Boss se bola, “Tum kyon satate ho ?”
“Onsite ke laddu se buddu banate ho”
`
“Promotion do warna chala jaunga”
“Onsite dene par bhi wapis na aunga”
Boss haans ke bola “Nahi koi baat”
“Abhi aur bhi Chintus hai mere paas”
`
“Yeh duniya Chintuon se bhari hai”
“Sabko bas aage badhne ki padi hai”
“Tum na karoge to kisi aur se karunga”
“Tumhari tarah Ek aur Chintu banaunga”
`
(WAKE UP CHINTU)
Dear subscribers…
Dear subscribers,
You are kindly informed that Mr.Rahul’s mobile will be switched-off on 14.2.2010
(Valentines Day) to avoid unwanted proposals. Sorry :-p
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